


The Sorrows of Severus Snape

by lalupinn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Hogwarts, Pottercest (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalupinn/pseuds/lalupinn
Summary: The life of Severus Snape was never an easy one. Trials, suffering, mental illness, bullying, and abuse. Here, we see a snippet from his own perspective... uncover the secrets, life and lies of the troubled Potions Master.
Kudos: 3





	The Sorrows of Severus Snape

**Honeysuckle flames**

A shabby looking boy was sitting in the shade of an old oak tree by the Black Lake. He was a pale boy who had significant dark circles under his eyes and a look of exhaustion etched on his face. His robes had stains and several holes in them, some of which were patched, a pitiful attempt at prolonging the life of the garment. His hair was black, shoulder-length and it looked as though it was long overdue a wash. This boy of sixteen, Severus Snape, had more important things to worry about than preening himself.  
Through his exhaustion, everything took so much more effort and determination, and his hygiene was often put on the back burner and kept at the bare minimum, to make way for more important matters... more often than not, matters of dark magic. The dark arts had always intrigued Severus, at first it was just mere curiosity, but as his knowledge expanded, his thirst for more grew. After a lifetime of feeling weak, the abuse he endured at the hands of his father, and bullied by other students at Hogwarts, he enjoyed the feeling of power that the dark arts bestowed upon him. He wanted to experience it, to absorb it, to practice it... mainly on those who deserved it. His father perhaps, or maybe the marauders - the pathetic bunch bullied him for years, but never one-on-one. He wanted justice and revenge. Snape wanted to practice dark magic on those who caused him to feel so much darkness. He wanted control.  
Severus spent a while reading, going through revision for the exam. It was a bright summer's day, and other students had finished the exam and started to retreat outside to enjoy the fine summer afternoon. After all, it was something of a rare occurrence to have such nice weather in Scotland. As more students appeared, Severus seemed to lose concentration in his work. Whenever it became too noisy, his anxiety started to become worse... it made him feel on edge. But before succumbing to his anxious thoughts, comforting and a familiar smell of honeysuckle and sandalwood brought him to reality. Upon looking up, he caught sight of the thick, wavy, fiery red hair and the gentle laughter that belonged to Lily Evans. This piqued his interest, and he instantly straightened up, following her every move. It seemed that Lily had noticed him too, as she smiled and gave a slight wave in his direction before sitting with a group of her friends. Severus wondered how she would feel if he asked her to join him on a walk after the exam, around the black lake, but he doubts he could muster the courage. He got lost in thoughts of Lily and the make-believe scenarios regarding her, in which he would hope to find himself in.   
It wasn't long until his daydream was brought to an abrupt halt by the sneering voice of James Potter.   
"Alright, Snivellus?"   
Snape looked up and instantly reached for his wand. But Potter was too fast, "Expelliarmus!"   
Severus crawled frantically in the direction of his wand, but the boy called Sirius Black shouted, "Impedimenta." which immobilised Snape to the floor. While all they could do was laugh and jeer, Severus drowned in fresh waves of horror, embarrassment and humiliation. He saw red and noticed Lily had witnessed this. Ashamed and angry, he tried desperately to break free of the jinx. His attempts were futile, of course, he could not move.   
Snape panted deeply, while Potter and Black advanced on him with joy in their voices and wands in their hands. For once, couldn't they just leave him be... but on the other hand, Snape did want an opportunity to practice his new spell, and James Potter was the perfect target.  
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James asked.  
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius said viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it. They won't be able to read a word."   
An entertained crowd had gathered around them, and none bothered to stop Potter and Black. They just observed in eager anticipation, they all seemed to revel in the Sorrows of Severus Snape.  
Meanwhile, Severus was utterly mortified. He could feel himself going pink in the face. He tried to get up but the jinx was still in operation; he was struggling as though bound by invisible ropes.   
"You wait," Severus panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing. "You- wait..."  
"Wait for what?" Said Sirius, coldly. "What are you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"  
Severus had never felt anger like it, he was utterly infuriated. He let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but nothing happened as his wand was ten feet away.  
"Wash out your mouth," said James. "Scourgify!"   
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag; choking him.  
"Leave him alone!"  
James and Sirius looked around, and Potter's hand flew instantly to his messy black hair. It was Lily. Severus felt this made his humiliation even more complete. Why did she have to see him like this; on the floor, unarmed and defenceless, being treated like an animal?  
"All right Evans?" said James.  
"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of dislike. "What's he done to you?"  
Lily was shouting at the pair, arguing his defence. Severus was trying his utmost to crawl out of his hexed position, in dire attempt to get to his wand while James and Sirius were distracted. He felt as though he was in a haze, a cloud had formed in his mind and nothing or no one mattered. All he wanted to do was hurt them, to make them suffer for what they've done... no longer seeing clearly. He wanted to cause pain to those who caused this humiliation, and to those who sat and watched. They would pay for this, one day or another.  
"Well... it's more the fact that he exists if you know what I mean..."   
The crowd was howling in laughter, but Severus didn't pay attention to anything other than his wand which still lay far away.   
"You think you're so funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."  
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said. "Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."   
The jinx was beginning to wear off now. Snape started to crawl towards his wand, spitting out soap suds.  
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.  
"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"   
But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James, there was a flash of light and a large gash appeared on the side of James's face, splattering his robes with blood. James whirled about, wincing in pain. Severus smiled an evil smirk.  
Another flash of light and Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.   
Many people laughed at his expense, which only made his embarrassment deepen. How is this fair, two against one? Not one of them would dare face him on their own. Cowards. James, Sirius and Wormtail roared with laughter. Remus pretended not to look, still hiding behind his book.  
Lily's expression faltered and twitched as though she was going to smile. "Let him down!"   
"Certainly," said James, and Snape fell to the floor in a crumpled mess.   
Snape quickly stood, wand up, but Sirius shouted, "Petrificus Totalus!" And Snape fell over again, rigid as aboard.   
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily roared with anger, getting her wand out now.  
"Oh Evans, don't make me hex you," said James.   
"Take the curse off him, then!"   
James sighed and turned to Snape, muttering the counter curse. "There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"  
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"  
Lily blinked.  
"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."  
"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.  
"I don't want you to make him apologise, you're as bad as he is."  
"What? I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"  
At this point, Severus cared not about staying. He struggled to collect his things, wanting nothing but to get back to his dorm.  
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." Lily turned and walked away, not looking back.  
"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"   
She didn't turn back.   
"What is it with her?" said James.   
"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.   
"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right -"  
There was another flash of light and Snape was hoisted into their air by his feet again.  
"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"   
The crowd laughed. Severus's eyes started to well up, howling hexes towards them as Potter just laughed in rage... he saw Pettigrew looking as though he was about to wet himself in excitement. Remus turned his back and walked back to the castle.   
Sirius & James playing with Snape some more, as if he was nothing but an old toy, with a cheering crowd behind him.   
Severus doesn't remember the details of the next few minutes. All he could think about was how at that moment, all he wanted to do was to die. He didn't know what was happening, and the next thing he knew he landed on the floor in a thud, his underwear falling gently on his face. The crowd laughed but slowly started to disperse, James and Sirius strolling off with satisfied smiles on their faces.  
Severus wasn't aware of time, or of how long he lay there, crumpled, crying silently into his robes. Only when someone touches his arm, did he realise the mess he was in? He pushed them away and sat bolt upright.   
"I'm sorry," the girl said shyly. "I just wanted to help you."   
Snape grimaced and scowled, he collected his things and stormed back to his dorm, wishing he'd never been born, leaving the girl sat in the very place his darkest nightmare took place.


End file.
